How to make a relationship work: the 5 tips from the psychologist

What do we talk about when we talk about love? Are we talking about a passion that can only last a few years? Or of a feeling that with the passage of time settles, grows, and changes and can last a lifetime or death do us part? Sure, making a relationship work can be anything but easy. The secret of the perfect relationship does not exist. But there are some tips that we can put into practice so that our story of love is always healthy and never predictable.

  1. The importance of communication

This may seem like superfluous advice in an age where we are all perennially connected and hungry for communication. But it is not so. “Talking, communicating does not only mean agreeing on the shopping list or the day’s activities. It is very important to let our partner know our state of mind. Especially if something is wrong; if something has bothered us, we explain how we feel. If we find that something of our partner’s behaviour, we do not like, let’s try to make it clear in time. Let’s try to talk about it before this becomes a topic of discussion “. So let’s avoid pointing the finger at each other. Let’s stop, and above all, let’s talk a moment before.

  1. Points of view

Sometimes admitting that there are visions other than personal ones can be tough. And as a couple, thinking about it in two different ways on the same topic can generate arguments and quarrels. “We always remember that in relationships, there are always two points of view. There is no single truth: there are always two sides of the same coin.  And not necessarily one must prevail over the other: let’s make sure that comparisons are always peaceful, let’s avoid going to the clash “.

  1. Don’t give up on your uniqueness

Let’s forget the romantic tale of the better half. A couple is made up of two integers: “Never give up pieces of you. Each has its uniqueness and must not impose its will (see advice number 2). It is essential to maintain one’s own space “. But in addition to maintaining spaces of independence, one must also avoid overshadowing one another: “Many couples come to therapy precisely because the light of the other obscures one of the two.” Equally important is supporting one’s partner: “Declared and selfless support is essential for the couple’s health.” 

  1. Quality time

After spending half an hour on the sofa choosing a movie to watch on Netflix or after wasting an entire afternoon deciding whether to go to the cinema or a Chinese restaurant, the fight seems to be around the corner. But before the evening is hopelessly compromised, we always remember that the focus is on spending time together: “The will is to spend time together, regardless of the activity we decide to do. This must be our priority, not the film that we will see or the restaurant where we will eat “. 

  1. The couple must be fed

It takes very little to make routine take over. Work, shopping, children, and the relationship, even involuntarily, takes a back seat. ” The couple must be nurtured. We must spend energy only for her. We cannot limit ourselves to living together, only the house’s space or the time for the children. We must strive to find something that belongs only to the relationship”. Dance the tango, take a cooking class, go to the theater, or dedicate one day a week to go running together. “And it is also very important to nurture romance; intimacy should not be taken for granted.” 

How to maintain good relationships with others: 6 tips

When starting a new friendship relationship with someone, things do not always turn out as we imagine. Sometimes interpersonal relationships last less than expected, and part of the causes that lead to this outcome may be poor social skills management.

The idea is not to stop being who we are to fit into friendships, but it is important to know how to properly express our positive attitude towards other people.

Why are social skills important?

It is proven that a large part of a person’s success is based on the ability to relate to their peers. Technical knowledge, study, and talent are important to function in life, but it is thanks to interpersonal relationships that we manage to achieve our objectives. The individual does not exist without the collective.

Many people have great talents and impressive abilities but fail to prosper or establish stable, friendly, or emotional relationships. On the other hand, to know how to maintain good relationships with others, it is necessary to also know the importance of social skills; and it is thanks to them that we can establish and properly maintain our bonds of friendship or fellowship with others.

By this, I do not mean that the only thing that counts for success in life is meeting the right people and taking advantage of their friendship. If you do not have the necessary preparation and desire to succeed, the ability to relate to people is irrelevant.

It is a debate between ability and sociability; if we can achieve a proper balance between these two variables, we will be better on our way to a promising future.

Tips for maintaining good relationships with others

The following list shows a series of effective and practical tips to maintain good interpersonal relationships with others.

Be true to your principles

When we can show other people that we are willing to respect their points of view as long as they do the same with ours, we are on the way to developing a more transparent and sincere friendship relationship.

Practice honesty

Whenever we get involved in a friendship relationship, it is important, to be honest with others, bearing in mind that honesty is not about always saying everything we know but simply not misleading others.

Another important aspect of honesty is saying things directly and avoiding using intermediaries to communicate our opinions. It is common for information to be distorted when it is not told first hand.

Show confidence

An essential aspect of strengthening and maintaining relationships with others is to be trustworthy. To achieve this, we must maintain integrity in terms of our opinions and actions, avoiding constantly changing ideas about what we say or do.

Another thing that works well to create bonds of trust with people is to show a certain level of vulnerability. It tells some anecdotes about ourselves where we have seen ourselves in difficult situations and makes others empathize with us.

Practice spontaneity

Hardly anyone could plan exactly how he behaves when he is with his friends; the ideal is to be ourselves, without fear of being judged. Spontaneity refers to behaving freely without the need to use rigid social protocols to fit in with the group.

Stay humble

Good friends do not approach you because of the things you have, but because of your virtues as a human being.

Be polite, be polite, and avoid showy behaviors so that the people around you feel better. And don’t do it just to please, do it because you know it is the right thing to do, practice humility as something natural.

Stay in touch

Something important to get along with other people is to take the time to see how others are. Although it seems like a fairly obvious question, sometimes the days go by, and we don’t hear from our colleagues, neighbors, or friends … You can make a call, write them some messages, or go visit them to check that they are okay, yes the deal is close.

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